Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Feeling Un-Friendly

Phone call last night. Since I had deleted her number from my contacts, I didn't know who it was. I answered more out of reflex than anything. Damn. We were the single girl co-workers who spent a number of evenings out together over a couple of years' time. It was fun, it was certainly entertaining. But there was always some sort of weird drama situation. Progressively the weird drama overtook the fun portion of the evening, and I began to back away from the friendship. Aside from the drama queen goings-on when we were out together, she had a great deal of drama going on in her personal life as well as on-the-job. Circumstances that she seemed to bring on herself and then bemoan the spot she landed in. I was horrified by the way she treated more than one mutual friend. Eventually when she couldn't keep various versions of her story straight, I didn't know when to believe her. A couple of times I questioned her when she contradicted herself and was met with outright hostility. I backed away even further, going so far as to not answer my phone when she called. Then she moved away. At least in part due to her self-inflicted problems at work and at home. I felt a sense of relief. Now she wants to get together next time she's in town and I have no desire to see her. My dilemma is whether to let her calls go to voice mail, lie about not being available for lunch, or be honest and tell her I'm just not interested in maintaining a friendship with her. None of these are appealing choices. If only when you deleted someone's number from your contacts, it auto-deleted from theirs' as well.

5 comments:

Martine said...

Come on girl you already know the answer. So do it!

Bellona of Avalon said...

Who said it was gonna be fun, right?

colleen said...

If you can summon the compassion and/or generosity of spirit, perhaps she's now in a position where she could use a friend? (Or a good swift whack alongside the head?)

She called. That says something.

Martine said...

Doing the right thing and fun are frequently not bed partners.

Bellona of Avalon said...

Naturally, my mind has gone directly to the gutter. Doing the right thing in bed with a partner frequently IS, in my experience, fun.

I apologize.