Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Don't tell anyone! It's the last day of June, it's after 3:30 in the afternoon, it's official! I have escaped jury duty! There was one close call. A little over a week ago I received a letter from the clerk of courts office giving me very specific instructions about calling a certain phone number concerning an upcoming trial. I was excited. I wrote the information on the calendar. But before the day in question arrived, the clerk of courts office called to say that the case had been settled, that there would be no need for my services as a juror, and to have a nice day. Tomorrow it shall be July and a new pool of Brookings County citizens will await being tapped as jury members. And one of them will most definitely not be me. Whew.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
2. I'm not tall enough to see up there unless I stand on a chair. Out of sight, out of mind.
3. I might clean up there more often if it didn't involve climbing to, first, observe how icky it is, and then actually clean.
4. I labor under the illusion that I have a consistent level of cleanliness throughout the house. If I clean up there, chances are there are other places of filth I'm ignoring, and then I'd have to clean them, too.
5. Are we having company?
*If so, how tall are they?
*And will they be wearing white gloves?
6. It's summer, I'm busy neglecting the yard.
7. I'd rather be on a bike ride.
8. I'd rather be lazing in the hammock.
9. Food preparation doesn't actually take place up there, so why bother.
10. On my deathbed, I doubt I'll really regret not spending more time cleaning the top of the refrigerator.
Last night I bought a cd. Directly from the artist, cutting out layers of middlemen, thereby increasing the profit to the artist. When I already owned a copy of that very cd! What a fool, you might be thinking! She could have copied it for pennies! Not that I haven't. I have copied Here, by Hank Harris, numerous times. It's a cd I happen to love, so I have an upstairs copy, a downstairs copy, one for in the car, and the music is also on my iPod. I have a tendency to be a little careless with cd's, particularly the one that winds up in the car, so I keep the original archived safely, away from temperature extremes, cats, dust and grit, and possible loss. But the one I bought last night is a gift. And it would have been wrong, wrong, wrong of me to copy it for that purpose. I have the technology! A computer, blank cd's and cases, and a kick-ass printer that would render the cover art beautifully. But Hank is an artist who makes his living off of what he has created. It's called intellectual property. And as someone who hopes to someday reap some profit from what I have created, I feel that I have to honor the work of others. And when you buy direct from the artist, it's that much better for them. As the big, greedy companies have discovered by seeing their profits dry up with the technological advances in recording, distribution and publishing. Live music is an art form for which there is no real replacement. So show up, pay the cover charge without griping, and buy the music directly from the artist. Everybody wins!
Photo used with permission
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Why did I let a beguiling voice derail my trust in my own judgment?
Why is this learning curve so goddamn steep?
Please, somebody shoot me or lock me in my room or put me in a straight jacket should I contemplate internet dating ever again! First, I am embarrassed and ashamed at my own shallow behavior. I needed to listen to what he was saying and not be distracted by the poor quality rendering of his recorded voice. Because everything else was there. I still hope to meet him face to face, even though at this moment I don't think I deserve to have a chance with him. And as if I couldn't feel any shoddier, I'm owning up to hoping that his current relationship is less than satisfactory because I'd like a shot at redemption. Secondly, I listened raptly to a mellifluous voice rather than my inner voice of caution that was telling me that something about this guy isn't adding up. He was charming. He was funny. He completely disarmed and distracted me. Until I asked what I thought was a perfectly reasonable and innocent question. To which he responded with such anger and umbrage that I was completely stunned. It was the stark contrast of his last communication with me compared to six weeks of bantering and flirting via email and on the phone that I was doing my best to process and make sense of. And finally, I listened to my inner voice of caution that had been telling me from the very beginning that something wasn't quite right. There were clues in his Facebook communications that I ignored until yesterday. And in the wee hours of this morning I finally Googled just the right combination of his name. And came to an understanding of why my glib and innocent question struck such a nerve with him. Somehow I have been rescued from potential disaster by my smart-ass, inquisitive nature. Not one of my better qualities, but one that I'm grateful for on this rainy and chilly morning.
Tantra Flower tagged me. I'm going to oblige, mainly because I need a distraction and because I can't seem to sleep. The tag stops here, however. I've never had a good response with passing these on to other bloggers.
What is your current obsession?
I'm not terribly obsessed with anything at the moment, in fact I feel a little unfocused. I have some available time to allow an obsession in, but mostly I'm just trying to get my list of summer projects accomplished.
What are you wearing today?
From head to toe, at this very moment, three earrings, a cotton nightie with little fish on it, complete with fish shaped buttons, my pink bathrobe, a silver bracelet, belly ring and a toe ring. I also am wearing nail polish, nude on my fingers and cherry brandy on my toes.
What’s for dinner?
It's 6:31 am, I haven't considered dinner yet!
What’s the last thing you bought?
A round of drinks at the little bar in Hendricks, MN. A Fat Tire beer for me and a glass of red wine for Colleen.
What are you listening to right now?
The fan on my laptop and the ticking clock hanging on the wall.
If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Wherever I could find warmth and comfort in the arms of someone I love, who loves me.
Which language do you want to learn?
Vulcan. I'm a geek wannabe.
What do you love most about where you currently live?
The memories, good and not so good, that are here in this house where I have lived for twenty-three years.
What is your favorite colour?
I'm fatally attracted to pink, I love pink things! If something comes in pink, I want it! But the colors I love being in and around are greens and blues.
What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
My Born riding boots. In black, of course.
Describe your personal style?
As far as how I dress, for work I dress like a slob, because ag-industrial isn't pretty. Otherwise, I love jeans and flowy, hippie tops and sundresses. I'm crazy for accessories like scarves and jewelry and make an effort to not go overboard with them. In decorating, I love rich colors and textures and do my best to keep the clutter down. With entertaining, my favorite thing to do with guests is cook for them and make them feel at home. I'm a food pusher just like my Norwegian grandmother, Esther, and feel sometimes as though I'm channeling her!
If you had $300 now, what would you spend it on?
I have $300, and I'm hanging onto it because I'm working only 11 hours a week now, and don't go back full time til September 1.
What are you going to do after this?
Read the paper, take a nap, meditate.
Your favorite smell?
Don't make me choose a favorite! Lilacs in bloom, pheromones, brewing coffee, bread baking. My cat, Einstein, at times gives off a lovely scent that's sort of sweet and cinnamon-y.
Do you collect anything?
Polar bears, penguins, snowmen, Santa Claus's, faeries, bunnies, books, books, books.
What makes you follow a blog?
Subject matter, sometimes I just feel a connection to the writer, most of the blogs I follow I know the writer personally. The ones I don't know I would like to meet.
Do you like to comment on blogs or just lurk?
I comment, those who know me would confirm that I have a hard time being quiet.
What’s one thing you dream of doing?
Making my living off of writing. I've written a novel that is languishing in the second-draft stage, have ideas for at least ten more, and have written hundreds of poems.
What is your biggest regret?
The failure of my marriage. I'm happy to be single, didn't expect to be single at this point in my life, and I have no desire to be back together with my ex, but hindsight is so crystal-clear. I regret not recognizing and dealing with our problems when it could have made a difference.
What is your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?
Sleep in, make soup, read. If it's a warm front gentle rain I love being out in it.
Do you have a tattoo?
I have three of them!
Are you left handed, right handed, ambidextrous, or a little of both?
I remember being ambidextrous before I went to school. My first grade teacher made me sit on my left and and write and color with my right hand. I have lingering right/left confusion and golf and go up to bat left handed. I mount a bike, motorcycle and horse backwards, too, which means the kickstand on my bike is forever on the wrong side!
Do you play an instrument?
I don't, yet I wish that I did, yet I put no effort into learning to play anything. I regret this, but perhaps those around me are grateful for it.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
that are important to you, things that
are scary to you, things that eat you up.
But the writing is a way of not
allowing those things to destroy you.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Sigh. There they are. Aren't they lovely? Clark's Santiago Cork sandal. In magenta. I have been lusting after these shoes since I spied them in the Herberger's sale flyer earlier this week. Let me say unabashed and upfront that I love Clark's shoes. Especially the clogs. Love how stylish and comfortable they are. Imagine my dismay earlier this evening when I had the opportunity to try on this shoe. As cute as they are, they are agonizingly painful to attempt walking or merely standing while having them on your feet! I know, I know, women wear all manner of footwear that are all about the appearance and nary a teensy thought concerning their comfort. But this girl demands comfort as well as style. What an enormous disappointment! I have found a Clark's shoe that is cruel. Unthinkable that they could create such an adorable sandal that is all but unwearable. The interesting part was, even the saleswoman in the shoe department said that she hasn't sold a pair all week. Many, many try-ons, but the verdict has been pretty much unanimous. Cute but cruel.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
If you click over to my profile, you will see that this is one of my favorite movies. And on a cold, rainy Sunday evening, what's better than a favorite movie? I love John Cusack. And perhaps even more, I love his sister, Joan Cusack. She is just so damn good it's magickal. I love this movie because it's a romantic comedy. But yet it isn't. It's messy and complex and so much like real life. It doesn't have a storybook ending but it's hopeful. It's so interesting how John's character, Rob, breaks the fourth wall and speaks directly to us. Kind of refreshing and very engaging how natural it feels for him to let us in on what's going on in his head without a tedious voice over and some hokey montage. And it has a terrific soundtrack. Oh. And there's the brilliant Jack Black. Finally, I get the biggest kick out of the fact that our leading couple are named Rob and Laura.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Had a rather disturbing dream last night, bordering on the nightmare variety of nocturnal brain activity. Once again, about the former boyfriend whose spectre I just don't seem to be able to shake. In the dream, which I think took place in one of those cute little camping cabins that can be found in South Dakota state parks. I was there, he was there, and this mysterious Asian-looking woman was there. Still not sure who she was, at one point I thought she was his girlfriend/wife, later on in the dream she seemed to be more of a secretary or assistant, she was taking notes and blinking constantly. And creepily, every time she blinked, her eyelids would sort of turn inside-out momentarily, then go back to normal. I was busy trying to get some answers out of the ex and he was busy not cooperating with me. I've heard it said that dreams can be our brains trying to work out problems we face during the day. I've also heard that dreaming is some sort of mindless test pattern that runs randomly and for no reason. All I know is, I have done my best to work out in a conscious state of mind how things went so wrong between us, when it seemed that things were on the verge of going so very, very right. And what I couldn't work out, I have put tremendous effort into letting go and forgiving. But still these shreds of non-closure regularly work their way into my dreams. I have just now realized what needs to be done. And it goes something like this. You know how when you delete a file from your computer, but it hasn't actually been dispatched to some electronic black hole, it has merely been tagged as information that is available space and can be randomly written over and thus obliterated, at any time. But until that actually happens, that deleted file remains as a ghost in your machine. The old boyfriend is a ghost in my machine! Whatever remains unresolved is lingering about waiting to be written over, I just haven't yet had a significant enough romantic relationship to obliterate the old file! I need to be defragged. In the worst way.