Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Crimes of the Heart


Seven is a magic number. So I've been told, anyway. A powerful prime imbued with positive energy. A cyclical number of renewal and beginnings. With this in mind yesterday afternoon, I visited the sacred site of a significant event in my life. Seven years ago on a late July Monday afternoon I made a choice. The repercussions of that choice have rippled as well as roared through my life and the lives of those around me for the last seven years. Small changes and enormous ones. I have gone through nothing short of an absolute metomorphosis. Internal and external. I'm not the same woman I was seven years ago, yet I am. This 2,557 day roller coaster ride was a doozy that shook every aspect of my being. I have been altered physically, spiritually, psychologically and emotionally. I have landed in a place I didn't expect to be at this point in my life, although I like it here. And every day I possess a greater understanding of how and why I am where I am. When I realized what day yesterday was, I felt compelled as any usual suspect will, to return to the scene of my crime. Certainly I've learned the life lessons that ensued, at least I hope so! Otherwise I'm doomed to repeat them! And I sorely lack the time and energy to get back on that roller coaster for one more ride. Today is the point of departure for the next seven years. Having served the sentence for my crime of the heart, I'll celebrate my release from its burden. I let it hold me prisoner for much too long.

4 comments:

Ed said...

Yeah, screw that prison thing!

Bellona of Avalon said...

Free is good.

Tantra Flower said...

I'm so happy that you are happy and liberated! I hate that I've missed this great post until tonight.

I am so sorry I've been out of touch. My computer bit the dust. I got a new laptop today so I've just been installing software and trying to get acquainted. I'm mentally exhausted. But anyway...

I can totally relate to everything you said here. And yes, free is very good! xox

Bellona of Avalon said...

It's a real love/hate thing, our relationship with technology! Glad you're back.

Freedom feels so nebulous at times. So often we have the power to free ourselves from the baggage of the past and either don't realize it or fear losing that anchor and hang onto it all the tighter. Of course, wandering about with no conscience at all isn't good! Learn the lesson and let go.